Federico Guerrini in his Forbes column “‘Sharia Friendly’ Social Networks For Muslims Are On The Rise” writes:

A month ago, while attending the Startup Turkey conference in Antalya, I had the chance to talk to Shoaib Fadie, CEO and co-founder of the social networking platform Muslimface.

He was there to pitch to potential investors his website, which, in addition to social networking also offers prayer times, job postings, a tool to locate the nearest mosque, a ‘find your spouse’ feature, and much more.

It might not seem the best of times, now, to write about Islamic online content, given the prejudices that surround the topic and the rising Islamophobia (which the recent terrorist attacks has certainly not helped reduce). Just think of Donald Trump’s proposal to ban all Muslim immigrants from entering the United States.

The Islamic State Media Department, creators of MujaTweet, in a press release stated:

We give a big thumbs up to our shariah [Islamic law] friendly brothers and sisters and welcome them to the social media experience. The new Muslim brotherhood alternative to Facebook, owned by the kaffir [non-Muslim] Zuckerberg, will give a voice to the 1.6 billion, and growing, members of the ummah [Muslim community].

It is time for a Shahid [martyr] Social Network (SSN).

After creating MujaTweet it is good news that MuslimFace will be launched by Shoaib Fadie, our Muslim brother in Turkey. We must fight the kaffir, the infidel, the non-believers by ‘uniting the ummah’ online.

This is a way for our Muslim fighters to connect and share their feelings, after a busy day stabbing Jews, executing homosexuals, crucifying Christians and dealing harshly with Muslims who are not ‘shariah friendly’.

We plan on investing in MuslimFace in the name of the prophet Mohammed, may peace be upon him. Our headquarters in Turkey has already reached out to Fadie and offered a substantial investment to get his website off the ground. We expect an explosion, no pun intended, in membership.

The Islamic State mujaheddin [soldiers of Allah] are looking forward to hooking up online. They are most interested in the ‘find your spouse’ feature. Many of our fighters are growing weary of their sex slaves captured on the battlefield and want a real Muslim woman to deal with the day to day chores of cleaning rifles, loading ammunition onto Toyota trucks and cooking a halal dinner after a hard day killing the kaffir dogs.

The ‘job postings’ feature will help the mujaheddin who are seeking job opportunities in Europe and America to take the battle to the infidels!

Islamic State soldier of Allah Mohammed Mohammed in a MujaTweet wrote:

The prophet Muhammed, may peace be upon him, has given us a voice on social media. His soldiers now can hook up and hang out with our fellow shahids [martyrs] after a hard day fighting the great Satan’s [American] invaders. Allah Akbar!

Mark Zuckerberg, chairman, chief executive, and co-founder of the social networking website Facebook, released the following statement:

Facebook welcomes MuslimFace to the social media world. We must love and embrace this change with the hope that others will begin to embrace our differences.

While, as a Jew, I am not allowed to join MuslimFace, I find that refreshing. Blocking me, homosexuals, Christians, Hindus, atheists and other non-Muslims [kaffirs] is not unlike our blocking of TEA Party members and Conservatives spewing their pro-U.S. Constitution hate and vitriol on social media.

The followers of Mohammed, as members of the religion of peace, will now have a dedicated social media platform to deal with Islamophobes like Donald Trump and Ted Cruz.

We noticed that among the first to join MuslimFace are our good friends Valerie Jarret, senior adviser to President Obama, Paul Brennan, Director of the CIA and Huma Abedin, former senior aide to Hillary Clinton.

The White House press office issued the following short statement:

MuslimFace dispels the notion that Muslims hate America and want to replace the U.S. Constitution with shariah law. This shariah friendly social media website will be a place where moderate Muslims may gather to do the work of the prophet Mohammed, may peace be upon him.

While MuslimFace does not allow non-Muslims to become members we are pleased that they have made an exception and will allow President Obama to join, once he leaves office.

We want to make it perfectly clear that the President is not a Muslim.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire first appeared on Facebook, the multicultural social media website. Shortly after posting this on Facebook we were blocked. We are appealing the block.