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Twitter Suspends Conservative Satire Site

In case you hadn’t heard, Twitter recently suspended our account. In an email to us, they claimed we violated their rules against “platform manipulation and spam.” The email included a warning that that if we tried to open another account, that new account would be suspended, too.

We published screenshots of the email and our suspended Twitter page, and called on our followers to make some noise. We started trending almost immediately and Twitter responded by reinstating us, saying we’d been suspended “by mistake.” So we’re back on Twitter, at least for the time being. But we share the concerns of others who’ve rightly observed that these “mistakes” tend to work in one direction.

We’re grateful to have followers who aren’t afraid to speak up and hold these big tech companies accountable. But there are no guarantees. We couldn’t be sure they’d reinstate our account. And we can’t know if they will the next time they make a “mistake.” But we can do our best to prepare for a worst-case scenario. At least we can if we have your help.

When we first launched our subscription service, the primary reason we gave for supporting us was to help us become less dependent on big tech companies. We explained:

We depend on Facebook and Twitter to drive traffic, and Google Ads to monetize it. Without these networks, we’d have no revenue to cover our expenses. And as you’re probably aware, none of these companies are friendly to Christians or conservatives. In fact, that’s a severe understatement. The control these companies exercise—and the outright hostility they display toward those with more traditional views and values—has us deeply concerned about our future as a publisher of Christian satire. But here’s the thing: If just a small fraction of our readers become paid subscribers, we’d have enough funding to survive without running ads, effectively eliminating our dependence on these big tech companies.

The more subscribers we have, the less we have to worry about our dependence on Twitter and the other big tech companies. If you want to see us prevail against Twitter, Snopes, and anyone else who might seek to discredit or deplatform us, please consider becoming a subscriber. Your support will make a difference.

From our whole team, thank you for your consideration and support.

Seth Dillon
CEO


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©The Babylon Bee. All rights reserved.

‘The Right Wing Is Full Of Nutty Conspiracy Theorists,’ Says Woman Who Believes Putin Is Secretly Running The USPS

AUSTIN, TX—Right-wing conspiracy theories are really dangerous and they lead to violence in our streets and the breakdown of trust in our vital social institutions, like the very efficient and modern United States Postal Service. That is the word coming from area art teacher Diana MacDonald, who has also been quite vocal for three years, though lacking any concrete evidence, about a conspiracy in which Donald Trump colluded with Vladimir Putin to hijack American democracy in the 2016 election and effectively become a Russian puppet to further their geopolitical interests.

“Trump has been impeached forever on two counts of colluding with Russia,” MacDonald went on to say. “Dozens of his campaign officials were indicted — some even jailed — for colluding with Russia during the election and afterward. It’s obvious to all of us that Putin controls that idiot who stole the election through voter fraud and misinformation.”

“Now Putin is taking away our post offices, locking up our mailboxes, and instructing tow truck drivers to steal mail carrier trucks to hide them in secret junkyards. He’s doing this all to prevent a proper election that counts all mail-in votes,” she added.

When someone pointed out to her that this all sounded a little far-fetched, MacDonald told them it was all over the news and took to Twitter to denounce the right-wing gaslighting and the very dangerous conspiracy theories she had read about like QAnon.

At publishing time, MacDonald was denouncing the many Russian bots that had skewed the poll results of her post on Twitter asking who was more dangerous, QAnon or some ANTIFA group that has never materialized anywhere or done anything violent at all.

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EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.

Brilliant Trump Puts Himself On All Postage Stamps, Forcing Democrats To Push For Abolishing USPS

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Sources are reporting that Trump has dealt a killer blow in his ongoing war against his sworn enemy, the U.S. Post Office. In a move of sheer, mind-blowing brilliance, Trump directed the Post Office to put his face on every single stamp, forcing the Democrats to reverse course and abolish the institution once and for all.

The new stamp, dubbed “The Trump-Stamp,” to be used on all pieces of mail features a smiling Donald Trump, with the caption “GREATEST PRESIDENT EVER.”

Don Lemon broke the news in a tearful address to the nation last night. “Our democracy is over,” he said. “It doesn’t exist anymore. I will never send another piece of mail ever again, and neither should you or else you’re a racist.”

Antifa and BLM responded by marching on local post offices and burning them down. Enthusiastic Trump supporters quickly bought up all the stamps. They are now selling for $3,000 apiece online.

RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:

Trump Drives Around Playing Mailbox Baseball In Latest Voter Suppression Scheme

Hardcore Trump Supporter Destroys His Own Mailbox

Kamala Harris Proposes Housing Plan Where Everybody Gets Free 10’x10′ Room And Three Meals A Day

State Hailed As Progressive Hub Of Technological Innovation Can’t Figure Out How To Keep The Lights On

Democratic Convention Viewer Wishing They Would Just Get To The Part About All The Free Stuff

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire from The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. All rights reserved.