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Help “Kickstart” World War III

There is a video going viral on the web titled, “Help Kickstart World War III”. This passionate and compassionate campaign video is produced by The Second City Network. President Obama needs your help starting World War III! Find out how you can help! This is not one of those “dumb” Republican wars, this is a truly “smart” progressive war. It will be run using iPads and Facebook.

War is the new normal and is a “moral obligation”.

Bomb Syria back to a real “sustainable nation” and also help prevent global warming caused by the release of sarin gas. Fewer Syrians means less CO2 emissions and an end to climate change in the Middle East. American bombs are environmentally approved by the EPA. Our tanks are union made in America, with Chinese parts. Our drones put out fewer pollutants that your Prius. We are a proud global partner in the UN’s International Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) “sustainable wars” initiative. Make war – save our planet!

Do your part today! The campaign needs just $1.6 trillion to get things going. To donate now – call 1-888-GOTO WAR or text 6969.

Please watch this compelling video and do your part to help “kickstart” WW III!

Don’t let Putin, the Russian bear, throw cold water on our “good” and “moral war” with Syria. Is it true Putin poops in the woods? Russia has no right to get in our collective progressive way to create a kindler and gentler Middle East void of all humans of Arab descent.

No going backwards we must move FORWARD!

EDITORS NOTE: This column is satire, or is it?