Alton Nolen: Religious black man gunned down by white racist — and other absurdities
As you may have heard, there was a beheading in Oklahoma, and for some reason the whole country is freaking out. It’s just a little blood, people! Sometimes, some of us will have to give our heads in order for Muslims to have the civil right to fully practice their religion.
There are more important things to be concerned with in the United States, such as the right of Muslims to practice Sharia law, and whether blacks are being gunned down in huge numbers by racist whites.
Today, the world mourns the double civil rights violations (bigoted racism and religious persecution) that occurred in Oklahoma. The incident in question involved Alton Nolen, a black man and a practicing Muslim.
Nolen came to the factory office of his former employer, seeking a quiet place to practice his religion, free from fear or persecution. What he got was a bullet, after he mindfully severed one infidel’s head and was in the process of sacrificing another.
In the midst of seeking asylum to practice his religion, Nolen was brutally assaulted by a racist white man with a questionably legal gun, and prevented the free exercise thereof his religion. This is the thanks that Muslims get for having the courage to practice pacifism in America.
Al Sharpton is calling for an investigation into the incident; citing the fact that the black victim only had a knife, while the white shooter had a gun. It raises the question of why excessive firepower was used against a man who clearly posed no threat to the community. Sharpton demands to know why the victim was racially profiled for practicing his religion. He calls the attack “Worshiping while black.”
Eau De Gulag: a scent of fear with a hint of soiled overalls
On the heels of men’s colognes Hugo and Ernesto, celebrating the lives and odors of two ardent revolutionaries, who each suffered a grotesque and unsightly death, comes Eau De Gulag, combining the delicate smell of despair with a touch of fear & soiled overalls.
Though pricey, it is a must-have for the enlightened lovers of revolutionary chic who crave an authentic Gulag experience on either side of the barbed wire fence.
While not promising to attract the opposite sex, or any other sex for that matter, this novelty cologne will surely complement and enhance your existing CCCP-themed wardrobe.
Russia works with new oil as Dear Leader fights it
Great Bear Leader Putin has done it again with new oil. As we understand, Russia is tricked into working with oil businesses. They defy our Dear Leader who fights against big oil with Gore of Oz’s big green energy projects.
Dear Leader Blesses Muslim Cleric
Cleric named Bin Boya has received a blessing from Dear Leader for his role of denouncement of USSA ISI ISILSFA ISIL. He said death to America Israel ISIL at a significant fundraiser for Dear Leader in Iran.
Photos of ‘scared scientists’ to scare and shame deniers
Putin vs. Obama (again)
Rice blames internet video for attack
Taking the lead from Susan Rice, and at the orders of the White House, NFL football player Ray Rice is now attempting to deflect responsibility for the attack by blaming it on a video posted on the TMZ website.
Appearing on the Sunday shows, Rice has stated that it was, in fact, the TMZ video that had sparked outcries of abuse, incompetence, and coverup.
Within hours, Attorney General Holder called for the immediate arrest of TMZ editor Harvey Levin, who aired the video, and who is now being charged with the crime of reporting the news. DOJ officials are confident that Mr. Levin will be purged and never heard of again.
Lawsuit: former Current News vs. Muslim Network
Terrible news!!!
The great Gore of Oz and the Muslim Network are suing each other for the sake of suing. One must think Al is fighting for against Global Warming and the other is fighting for the Muslims everywhere. The sharks are all over this one folks.
“Tens of thousands” to attend Climate Grievance-a-thon!
Whose climate march?? The Peoples fricken’ climate march!*Sigh* LEO! *swoon* That’s right folks! Be seen with a bona-fide Hollywood celebrity! If that isn’t enough for you, you will also be exposed to the oratory skills of our favorite never-was president Al “the Goracle” Gore!!!
Debbie Whatshername-Schultz to be purged, become non-person
Democrats turn on Debbie Wasserman Schultz
Debbie Wasserman-Schultz has been purged. This will only get better with time…
The train is pulling into the station.
Obama: We have always been at war with ISIL
Dear Leader is arming our friends ISIS ISIL FSA. We have an obligation to support his efforts against Assad, friend of Great Bear Leader Putin, and formerly known as ISIS,ISIL FSA Er ISIL. I am not capable of judging our Dear Leader and I am not smarter and more wiser then him.So Onward my friends as we support our friendless frenemies friends. I hope they will join us for bacon and beans.
Sen. Landrieu Lives in Dad’s Basement for Sake of the People
Dear Comrades,
To demonstrate her solidarity with the poor and oppressed masses of the USSA, Comrade People’s Senator Mary Landrieu has taken to living in the basement of her parent’s home Louisiana Oblast.
Just as many Workers and Peasants have suffered the plight of multi-generational housing as a result of the oppressive policies of the Republicans and their Petty Bourgeois lackeys, Comrade Mary has demonstrated her solidarity with their struggles for social justice. Party officials throughout the State have telegraphed their congratulations to her.
Kerry’s War Flip-Flops
John Kerry has a pair, why not you?
Costly? Well you could give kidneys, combat medals, two bottles of Hines Ketchup, guns, cheese burgers, cupcakes, your soul, melons, or currency for a pair. Not satisfied? Well for more donations you might get the People’s Cube wrapped in our favorite brown paper scented if you are lucky.
ISIS Opens Restaurant and Music Hall
I don’t know what all the fuss is about. They look like really nice guys, there’s nothing extreme about them at all. I can’t believe they would do all the terrible things the media is telling us about.Look at them – they couldn’t hurt a fly!
