What if the answer to world peace is not, in fact, global redistribution of wealth, but global redistribution of hair follicles? Granted, this theory isn’t any better or worse than all the other unproven theories that are guiding today’s world politics, but this is exactly why we should give it a try.
According to my calculations, all wars will end as soon as world leaders begin to trade haircuts in the name of fairness and follicle equality for all.
Wait till the Russian media discovers the power of the race card and comes up with the headline, “Putin was born a poor black child.” How can you fight that? With equal redistribution of hair follicles, how can anyone tell who’s got the moral high ground?
Below are just some examples.
To allow experts a closer look, here are the same portraits in larger sizes: