Fifty Shades of Government: A Fact-based Romantic Comedy

Fifty Shades of Government delivers a classy-looking, in a Cialis-TV-commercial way, story of the American people who have turned over full control of their lives to their government. As their personal stories become increasingly subservient to government-approved media narratives, the film portrays their submissiveness to the government as gratifying and empowering experience.

50 shardes of governmnet peoples cube

Advance ticket sales are dominated by Democrat voters, who will likely bring their friends and family, making the overall turnout likely 90% progressive.

What the critics say about the film:

Entertainment Weekly: “Losing control of your lives never felt so good.”

Hollywood Reporter: “Wonderfully devoid of any conflict, as it should be in real life.”

Rolling Stone: “With movable parts like these, who needs acting skills?”

Vanity Fair: “Not the lame, hot-and-bothered fantasy many conservatives said it would be. It’s got insight that Hayek never had.”

New York Times: “The movie’s long, narcissistic speeches may be a downer, but then, no one goes to see it for the dialogue.”

MSNBC: “The chemistry between the well-matched slavish individual and the dominant government offers a non-stop thrill up one’s leg. They truly are the star-crossed couple.”

Variety: “Too bad the romantic fun recedes as the action plunges into darker, oppressive territory. No one likes a spoiler, especially that this may well be our future.”

The People’s Cube: “The most satisfying definition of ‘be mine’ wrapped in a fact-based romantic comedy with a fair share of consensual violence, as naïve American voters embark on an affair with a powerful and deep-pocketed political machine.”

Another version of this movie poster is targeting conservative and Tea Party audiences with the iconic image of Uncle Sam because, according to focus groups, this demographic is more likely to be seduced by patriotic imagery.

EDITORS NOTE: This column originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.