Dear Communists operating in Venezuela,
I am saddened to hear that you are running short of electricity because of El Niño. I understand your water is evaporating quickly and your hydro electric power plants cannot produce enough electricity for your country. Forget all the oil and natural gas off your shoreline.
In your Communist mind set the best plan is to shut down all the malls, hotels and other businesses for a few hours each day and stop commerce and the free flow of capital among your citizens. Great plan. This will definitely help your economy grow. Might I suggest an alternative idea to solve your power shortage?
Obama Hamsters. Yes, Obama Hamsters.
These hamsters are climate change friendly. They do not produce much CO2 when they poop and they are cheap to feed.
The White House has a special offer on Climate Change Hamsters if you purchase 50,000 they will ship them to you in green friendly recycled cardboard boxes made from recycled trees in Alabama…..
When these Obama Hamsters get up to speed in their freshly painted red, lead paint free, wheels they will generate enough electricity to offset the El Niño losses from your hydro electric plants.
The cost is only five pesos per Obama Hamster. That’s 50,000 watts per wheel.
If you buy 100,000 hamsters President Obama will throw in either a Bernie Sanders t-shirt, a Bill Clinton blue dress or a few solar panels for your embassy in Washington D.C.
Its a shame that your malls are now dark and shuttered on the first day of a government electricity rationing regime, know as a “red out.”
This past Thursday, the top hoteliers’ association said that five-star hotels would also have to start generating their own power for several hours a day. I can send them the link for the Obama hamsters website, too. However, a Bernie Sanders tax will also apply to each hamster.
Five pesos per hamster, that’s a 56,000 pesos in Bernie Sander’s tax.
The authorities (which is you guys) say the rationing is a temporary measure brought on by the El Niño weather phenomenon, blamed for a drought that has lowered production at the country’s hydro-power plants.
“The government is taking concrete action to minimize the decline” in reservoir levels, Electricity Minister Luis Motta said on Wednesday.
Concrete action? Hmm, sounds like shutting down the free flow of commerce in an entire country to save 50 pesos to me. Maybe we can send you some college kids with “I want $15 an hour” signs to wave.
I agree with the Capitalists that are in the process of taking power when they state that socialist President Nicolas Maduro’s administration failed to anticipate the problem and not adequately investing in the country’s power grid. They are right, they see the light, no pun intended.
In my humble opinion electricity rationing will harm your economy that is already in triple-digit inflation and an economy that contracted 10 percent last year. Obama tried to bury us, he is on the way out.
You need to hurry up and fire the Communists, or deport them to Cuba or both. Time to build some coal and nuclear power plants or your lights will go out, no pun intended.
Until that time order your Obama Hamsters from WhiteHouse.gov.
EDITORS NOTE: This political satire originally appeared on the Bolsheviks for Bernie Sanders website.