The Official Hillary for America Woman Card!

It’s here! It’s girly pink! And best of all, it’s free! it will make us feel good about ourselves!

Finally, we women have something we can whip out whenever we feel like it!

It’s none other than the Official Hillary for America WOMAN CARD!™

Play it anytime you feel like a victim. Anytime you feel entitled.

Anytime you feel that an awareness ribbon, a wristband, a picture of yourself holding up a sign with a hashtag on it, or even just baring your boobs in public and shouting expletives isn’t enough to let the whole world know you have rights that only the government can provide!

The right to be a victim. The right to be entitled. The right to free stuff. The right to be treated exactly like men, except when we want to be treated like women.

Behold those big letters—W and C—right next to the universal symbol for a women’s restroom. Take it to any restroom you want, and never wait in line again!* Check out the black band that makes it look as if you can slide it anywhere, even the New York subway, and feel empowered!

How do you get the Woman Card? It’s easy! Go to Hillary’s campaign site and if you want her to deal you in, just tell her what you’re willing to stake and sha-zam! She’ll deal you a card and you’ll get to play it!

But that’s not all. When you apply for The Official Hillary for America Woman Card™, you’ll also receive a lifetime subscription to daily FREE e-mails from Hillary’s campaign! Each and every e-mail will be chock full of valuable, helpful information on how you can continue to help Hillary play the Woman Card. Additionally, every e-mail will be personalized with your name, so you can feel smugly secure knowing you’re not just another nameless, faceless voter with a seemingly endless supply of money to donate, or if you happen to be dead, an endless supply of ballots to cast.

Get your Woman Card today and start playing it—and feel good about yourself!

NOTE: *Valid only if you don’t intend to actually use the toilet. Restrictions and blackouts may apply. See back of card for details.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire originally appeared on The Peoples Cube.

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