OSCARS: ‘Interspecies Sex’ Wins Best Picture Surrounded by 500 ‘Assault Rifles’

Hollywood’s 1% gathered for their 90th annual look at me party, known as the Oscars. I, like millions of others who did not watch the Oscars, decided to tune into something much more interesting, like episodes of the first prime time series on American television which ran from 1950-1963, The Rifleman.

What happened at the Oscars?

This morning I woke up to learn that the Academy’s best picture was “The Shape of Water.” Since I did not see the film I decided to Goggle it to learn more about it. What I found out is that Shape of Water is about “interspecies sex.”

In a Forbes article titled “Review: ‘The Shape Of Water’ Successfully Depicts An Interspecies Relationship, Somehow” 

[I]n The Shape of Water, he’s [Director Guillermo Del Toro] managed to accomplish something very difficult indeed. He’s managed to depict a loving, consummated relationship between Sally Hawkins and a slimy fish creature, and not induce the audience into vomiting. [Emphasis added]

I then Googled for the closest definition I could find that represents a human consummating a relationship with a different species. The closest I could come is “bestiality” which is defined as:

  1. savagely cruel or depraved behavior.
  2. sexual intercourse between a person and an animal.

Newsweek’s Emily Gaudette reported this on The Shape of Water:

In the first few minutes of Guillermo del Toro’s The Shape of Water, a mute janitor named Elisa, played by Sally Hawkins, draws herself a bath and masturbates. She completes this quick ritual several times early in the film as part of her daily routine. Elisa is lonely, and efficient.

Eventually, she meets the man—or, rather, the monster—of her dreams: an aquatic humanoid without a name, played by Doug Jones under layers of hand-painted latex. Del Toro is a noted monster visionary (as in, an inventor of creatures), but this is the first time the director has envisioned one that makes love to a woman.

Hollywood has morphed from its #MeToo moment into its #MeBestiality and #MeMasturbate moments.

So a human woman having a “consummated relationship” with an animal (bestiality) is worthy of the Best Picture Oscar? Is this like Hollywood actors having consummated relationships with underage children (pedophilia)? Or multiple women having consummated relationships on the casting couch with a well known Hollywood producer (rape)?

What else happened at the Oscars?

A second headline that caught my eye, no not that this year’s Oscars was the lowest rated in history, was the number of guns, including AR-15s, present at this gala Hollywood event.

This headline was interesting because the cause célèbre, no pun intended, for the 2018 Oscars was support of gun control by wearing orange lapel pins.

In a Breitbart news article titled “Oscars: Celebrities Push Gun Control Surrounded by a Wall of 500 Armed Officers” Jerome Hudson reports:

The Los Angeles Police Department will deploy 500 officers to wrap the Dolby Theatre in multiple barriers of armed security for the 90th Academy Awards on Sunday night, an event at which several of Hollywood’s most celebrated stars will actively push for more gun control in America.

“We have these concentric rings of security that start in the middle and radiate outward,” said LAPD Cmdr. Blake Chow, the man tasked with overseeing the massive operation. “We have a lot of officers in fixed posts and foot beats keeping an eye on the event.”

Several celebrities plan to wear orange lapel pins on the red carpet and during tonight’s ceremony in support of gun control and the Michael Bloomberg-founded gun control advocacy group Everytown for Gun Safety.

Tom Trento in a column titled “Hollywood Actor’s Gun Pledge” wrote:

The irony of “Hollywood” deserves its own Oscar.

Here we have a contingent of people who, because they sell tickets, truly believe they have something important to say to us “common-folk.”

So, let’s make an important point with Reductio Ad Absurdum and show the foolishness of “actors” who demand non-actors to change their beliefs and practices while exempting themselves from their own moral standards.

THE  HOLLYWOOD  ACTOR’S  GUN  PLEDGE

As a Hollywood actor I’m a special person with unique insight into life because I get paid a lot of money to make believe I’m other people. Therefore, GUNS are bad and should be BANNED. I stand in solidarity with students across America to tell Trump to change the law and stop the killing.  We know he won’t because the NRA will not let him but this PLEDGE by all of us Hollywood Actors, Directors, Producers, and Investors will change the law, stop the killing and Make America Gun-Free Again!

(insert real Hollywood name) Pledge to:

  • Never act, produce, direct or invest in any movie that includes a gun in any way in the script, even if it’s a water pistol or one of them guns with the orange thing in the hole in the front.
  • Never hire any bodyguards who carry guns, ever carried guns or thought about carrying guns.
  • Hand in all guns I own to a company that can melt them into plowshares or at least a giant peace symbol.
  • Calculate all the money I have made in movies, TV shows, videos, direct-to-DVD productions and give all that money to groups opposed to the NRA.

Perhaps we can add to Tom’s list:

  • Never act, produce, direct or invest in any movie that includes in any way in the script a “consummated relationship” with an animal (bestiality).

Will Hollywood begin pushing sex with robots? Oops, too late. They already have with the 2017 remake of Blade Runner and the 2015 film Ex Machina. Hollywood deserves a rating of “D” for depraved.

What most impressed you about the Oscars?

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