WASHINGTON, D.C.—Under intense pressure from their left-leaning constituents to do something about the dangerous, Christian-founded restaurant chain, Democrats in the House of Representatives unveiled legislation Tuesday that would make it a hate crime to eat at Chick-fil-A.
The CFAHATE Act Of 2018 would make it a hate crime punishable by federal law to dine at the restaurant or use its drive-thru, with extra punishments for people who post that they’re eating at the restaurant on their social media accounts. The legislation would also impose heftier penalties for anyone who patronizes the extremist hate group’s chicken sandwich establishments during Pride Month.
“We want people making fast-food dining choices to think carefully about a restaurant’s background,” House Minority Leader and bill co-sponsor Nancy Pelosi said in a video posted to her official YouTube account. “If a restaurant’s leadership is associated with Christian values in any way, frequenting their locations amounts to literal violence against minorities, women, and the LGBTQ+ community.”
According to Pelosi, the legislation was rushed into motion after Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey posted that he was eating at Chick-fil-A on his Twitter account over the weekend, and was later forced to apologize after weathering severe criticism by progressives. Federal agents found they were unable to prosecute him, since eating at a Christian-owned restaurant wasn’t “technically” defined as a hate crime under United States law.
“It’s 2018. It’s time to put intolerance behind us by making any association with Christians in the public sphere simply intolerable,” Pelosi concluded.
RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:
EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.