Entries by The Babylon Bee

14 Things The FBI Found In Donald Trump’s Safe

The FBI raided former President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home and found incriminating evidence that he was once President of the United States of America! While they were there they spent over four hours cracking open a solid gold safe. Here’s what they found: Thousands of McDonald’s receipts: Immaculate record keeping! Three pallets of Norvell Premium Sunless Tanning […]

10 Great Ways To Reverse The Recession

The GDP (Gross Domestic Product) numbers were released today and it turns out we’re in a recession. EVERYBODY PANIC! We’ve got to fix this immediately! Fortunately, we’ve consulted with the highly educated economists that got us into this mess to see how we can get out of it. Here are some great ways to reverse […]

Scientists Unveil Periodic Table Of Genders

U.S. — The nation’s leading scientists unveiled a new periodic table of genders to help everyone keep track of the evolving gender spectrum. Experts are recommending the table be rolled out to schools across the nation and added to each state’s curriculum for grades 9-12. The gender table features 114 genders in addition to a […]

How Jill Biden Describes Each Ethnicity

Jill Biden recently referred to Latino people as “Breakfast Tacos,” eschewing the more politically correct term, “Brxxkfst Txcxs.” Despite her faux pas, this isn’t the first time she’s used colorful language to describe some ethnicities. Here are most of the other times: “Italians are a basket of free breadsticks at Olive Garden.” “The Irish are a variety pack of […]