CINCINNATI, OH—As part of a campaign to raise awareness and improve public knowledge on treatment options, CNN aired an hour-long public service announcement on the warning signs of dementia Wednesday night. The PSA, which ran over an hour, showed tragic footage of an old man ranting and making nonsensical, confusing statements. CNN says they hope the […]
About The Babylon Bee
What is The Babylon Bee?
The Babylon Bee is the world’s best satire site, totally inerrant in all its truth claims. We write satire about Christian stuff, political stuff, and everyday life.
The Babylon Bee was created ex nihilo on the eighth day of the creation week, exactly 6,000 years ago. We have been the premier news source through every major world event, from the Tower of Babel and the Exodus to the Reformation and the War of 1812. We focus on just the facts, leaving spin and bias to other news sites like CNN and Fox News.
If you would like to complain about something on our site, take it up with God.
Unlike other satire sites, everything we post is 100% verified by Snopes.com.
Who is behind The Babylon Bee?
Seth Dillon | CEO
Through a shady deal involving the NRA, the Russians, and the King James-only mafia, Seth Dillon acquired The Babylon Bee in 2018. He oversees all the business stuff, like making sure the lights stay on and working us all to the bone, making us write so much satire that our eyes begin to bleed as he cackles maniacally and dives into a vault of cash. He also writes a funny headline from time to time.
Kyle Mann | Editor in Chief
Kyle was created in an Orc spawning pit beneath the tower Orthanc near the end of the Third Age. Saruman the Many-Colored drew upon all his dark powers to imbue Kyle with the ability to write satire of semi-acceptable quality from time to time, and also pillage many small villages in Gondor. Kyle oversees and approves all content posted to the site and writes a good bit of it himself.
Ethan Nicolle | Creative Director
Ethan was accidentally created in a lab when some chemicals spilled on a copy of GK Chesterton’s Orthodoxy, which was then struck by lightning. With his newfound superpowers, Ethan created Axe Cop, Bearmageddon, and other stuff. Ethan is responsible for much of our creative visual content, such as photoshops and infographics. He also writes articles when we force him to at gunpoint.
Dan Dillon | CTO
In the early 1800s, two Geek Squad cars crashed into each other in a violent accident, and rising from the ashes was Dan Dillon. Part machine, part man, but 100% computer nerd. Dan handles all our tech stuff, which means he tells us to reboot our devices if they aren't working.
Frank Fleming | Senior Writer
Chris Cowan | Writer
David Fisher | Writer
Nate McMillan | Writer
David Barjuca | Graphic Designer
Michael Konynenbelt | Developer
Nico Leiva | Operations and Support Manager
Entries by The Babylon Bee
TOKYO—People were stunned after the U.S. women’s soccer team lost to Sweden in the Olympics this week by a score of 3-0—until the team revealed they are boycotting scoring any goals until racism is defeated. “Yeah, we didn’t score any goals against Sweden last night, but that was totally on purpose,” said star player and beloved […]
ATLANTA, GA—CNN has unveiled an exciting new subscription service, CNN+, that blocks all CNN programming from view for the low, low price of $15 per month. The move is expected to save CNN from bankruptcy, as the highly anticipated feature already has millions of sign-ups. Many thought CNN would not recover from the post-Trump years, […]
CAMBRIDGE, MA—With humanity languishing under the evil tyranny of Facebook, everyday citizens have pooled their resources together to send a killer robot back in time to 2004 to prevent Mark Zuckerberg from inventing the wicked technological scourge in the first place. “We’ve created the ultimate bionic A.I. humanoid to find Zuckerberg and prevent this dark […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The World Health Organization has issued a travel warning for anyone traveling to D.C. this week since according to several reports, a plane full of COVID infected anti-science extremists from Texas have flown to the nation’s capital and are conducting deadly super-spreader events there. “According to eyewitnesses, these Grandma-killing monsters didn’t even wear masks on […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Biden administration has decided to crack down hard on those who spread covid misinformation on social media. Because of this, Press Secretary Jen Psaki has been promptly and permanently removed from all social media platforms. “We take this ban very seriously,” a Biden official said. “Ol’ Jen had an enormous reach online, and our […]
MENLO PARK, CA—As part of an attempt to slow the spread of misinformation on its platform, Facebook has introduced a new “report post to the White House” button. The feature allows you to flag posts for the Biden administration to review for misinformation. Handy for opinions you disagree with, comments critical of the government, and […]
The American Civil War was pretty bad, but there are a lot of things that have happened since then. Some of them are even worse than the Civil War. Just ask Joe Biden. Over his short presidency, he has already compared all ten of these things to the Civil War: 1. Republicans asking people to […]
GETTYSBURG, PA—President Biden issued an executive order today instructing the National Park Service to begin tearing down all the monuments at Gettysburg National Military Park so they can be replaced with memorials to all the millions killed by Republican laws asking people to show ID to vote. “These new voting laws are way more deadly […]
ATLANTA, GA—During a news report Wednesday, CNN anchors blamed the Cuban protests on “climate change,” saying the mass demonstrations against the communist government were likely due to global warming. The cable news station told its dozens of viewers that global warming drove thousands of Cubans out of their homes, with the heat making them deliriously […]
MIAMI, FL—While on his way to a summer sociology course at the University of Miami, local college freshman Eddard Pollyton noticed a Cuban American man sitting on a bench. He took the time to lecture the man, who had escaped socialism on a raft when he was young, on why socialism is actually good and how he […]
PORTLAND, OR—During a conversation at work Monday, local woman Reighnye Leighton argued that the government should just mandate that everyone get vaccinated. She made this argument as she wore her favorite, well-worn “My Body, My Choice” T-shirt. “Vaccines should be mandatory,” said the woman who goes out and protests every weekend that she should be […]
We all know that CRT is simply the honest teaching of American history. It’s also a niche legal theory that is only taught in college. It’s also an arbitrary label that racists use to slander everything they don’t like. It’s also the only way to make sure your elementary school kids don’t grow up thinking slavery is […]
The Smithsonian has seen an influx of donations of relics from January 6, the darkest day in our nation’s history, if you don’t count a few of the big ones. Here are twelve of the most significant artifacts that have been donated so far: 1. Buffalo guy’s buffalo hat – This will be displayed on a […]
The vaccine door-to-door evangelists are coming for you! Luckily, we at The Babylon Bee are extremely anti-social, so we’ve got some great ways to scare off the vaccine missionaries trying to get you to accept Dr. Fauci as your lord and savior. Try one of these and let us know how it goes!* 1. Answer […]