WASHINGTON, D.C.—At her weekly press briefing today, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi commented on the removal of statues by protesters, saying, “We have to knock the statues down to find out if they’re racist.”
Many have expressed concerns that the statue-toppling is going too far, but Pelosi urged everyone to remain calm and that statue-toppling is a natural part of the process of finding out which ones were actually bad and evil racists.
“We need to get them knocked over first, we need to push that through, and then we can see if they were actually racist,” she explained. “You won’t know until you pull them down.” Pelosi said that everyone should support the tearing down of all statues, whether they are of the Founding Fathers, the Hamburglar, or the Fonz. Later on, she said, we can find out whether or not they were actually icons of white supremacy.
She also promised that “if you like your statues, you can keep your statues” and asked reporters, “What difference, at this point, does it make?”
“Some rioters did something,” she added.
RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE:
EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. All rights reserved.