Libertarian Voters Flock To Trump After Learning He Avoided Paying Taxes

U.S.—Trump is polling high among an unexpected group: libertarians, who were energized and drawn to Trump’s cause after the New York Times revealed that he paid as little as $750 in federal taxes some years.

“Only paying a few hundred in federal theft? This guy is my hero!” said libertarian man Murray Mickelson of New Hampshire. “If only all of us could be that smart with our taxes.”

“The less theft, the better!”

Libertarians across the country paid tribute to Trump’s accomplishment by firing their AR-15s into the air and doing hard drugs, though this is what they were already planning on doing anyway.

Jo Jorgenson’s poll numbers have plummeted as a result of the revelation, with both of her supporters saying they’re switching to Trump.

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