UTAH DESERT—Scientists and conspiracy theorists are baffled after a strange monolith-shaped stack of missing Trump votes was discovered without explanation in the middle of the Utah desert.
“RIGGED ELECTION!” tweeted Donald Trump after seeing the news on his Twitter feed. “They found my missing votes! There must be 10 million in that stack alone!”
Scientists insist Trump’s allegations are “baseless” and that the strange stack of mail-in votes for Trump is more likely the result of an artist’s work or perhaps an alien visitor.
Rudy Giuliani was last seen rappelling down the side of a nearby cliff face to examine the stack of ballots with a flashlight and a magnifying glass. He has announced to the press that by the time he’s done examining all the ballots by himself, Trump will be revealed to be the clear winner in all 50 states.
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