We here at the Babylon Bee are passionate about helping our readers discern truth from fiction. You may not know this, but a lot of news outlets are really biased these days! How can you tell whether the news is giving you the whole story? Well, buckle up, because here are 9 very subtle clues to look for that could indicate a news outlet might be biased.
Here they are:
- They employ journalists: We’re not sure who thought it was ever a good idea to hire journalists to give the news. Journalists are just the worst.
- They do not begin each news segment with an opening prayer: This is a sure sign that they hate your faith and all your traditions. Don’t watch!!
- The news anchor has a “BIDEN HARRIS” tattoo on his face: This could be an indicator that he is biased towards the Democrats. Sad!
- Donald TRUMP’s name is not in all capital letters: And if they don’t refer to him as “Dear Leader”, they probably hate America.
- They don’t precede every mention of the 2020 election with the word “stolen”: Literally everyone knows the election was stolen from Dear Leader TRUMP! If they disagree, they’re probably biased libs.
- Their “panel of experts” is four stuffed animals and Stacy Abrams: Well, to be honest, that bear in the middle seems to know what he’s talking about.
- A laser dot appears on their forehead every time they mention Hillary Clinton: This could indicate they are being subtly pressured to spin the news in her favor.
- You have never once heard them say “Orange Man Good”: Yeah, you’ve heard them say “Orange Man Bad”, but have you ever heard them say “Orange Man Good”?: You need balance!
- Any stories about Hunter Biden appear in 1pt Papyrus font: They’re hoping you can’t see them. Don’t be fooled!
EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.