10 Great Alternatives To Supporting Woke Companies

Watch out! Every company you love has become WOKE! If you want to avoid supporting progressive businesses then you’ll need to be prepared. Consider these fantastic alternatives to some of the more notable liberal corporations.

Instead of Twitter

…use TRUTH Social for 3 weeks before Trump cans it. Then go back to Twitter.

Instead of brewing your coffee with Starbucks beans:

…use Goya beans!

Instead of Levis

…buy pants made for grown-ups.

Instead of Gilette razors

…grow a beard like a man.

Instead of Microsoft

…mine your own silicon, build a computer from scratch and program an OS in painstaking binary.

Instead of subscribing to Disney+

…just let your children scream and scream and scream.

Instead of buying books from Amazon

…buy a Gutenberg press and print leaflets. Bind them together with leather from the cattle you slaughter. Easy as 1, 2, 3!

Instead of buying Nike shoes

…go to China and get your own slave to make some shoes. Everyone’s doing it!

Instead of watching Netflix

…use your parents’ account to watch Netflix.

Instead of Facebook

…go to your high school reunion and listen as people you don’t remember pitch pyramid schemes. It’s an almost identical experience!

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EDITORS NOTE: This political satire column by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.

4 replies
  1. Jeff
    Jeff says:

    This is a load of “woke” crap. We should not be pushed into supporting companies that violate our moral and ethical standards, as well as Biblical teachings. Look at State Farm now. They are pushing LGBQTABCDEFG, or whatever it is, on little children now with books they are supplying to kindergartens. I will be dropping State Farm.

    Reply
  2. Liberty Belle
    Liberty Belle says:

    I liked Off Broadway Shoes until I saw their web page moments ago. I’m looking for alternative to find leather shoes rather than OBS. The web page was only about supporting same initials Bureau of Land Management. And that’s all, folks. I won’t shop there again.

    Reply

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