10 Things More Valuable Than The U.S. Dollar

The US dollar is losing value as a result of burgeoning Biden-flation. Before we all end up homeless, let’s take some time to reflect on some things that are more valuable than the money in your bank account. Maybe you can barter for some of these killer items before it’s too late!

Here are ten fanciful items worth more than the US dollar:

1) Your beanie baby collection: It’s been sitting in a box for the last twenty years. Now’s the time to cash in!

2) Bitcoin: Oh wait—never mind.

3) An NFT of a picture of a dollar: Currently worth $343 billion dollars.

4) Dating advice from your dad: UGHhhh Dad STOOOOP!

5) The word of a Spaniard: We’ve known too many Spaniards.

6) Schrute Bucks: Now worth 10,000 dollars, 12 unicorns, or 3 leprechauns. NICE!

7) String of Chuck E. Cheese tickets from the skeeball game: They can earn you a stuffed Pikachu.

8) Brian Stelter’s sources: Not as reliable as we thought, but surprisingly still worth slightly more than a dollar.

9) Chris Wallace autographed CNN+ poster: We had such high hopes…

10) Ron Paul’s jean shorts: Priceless.


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EDITORS NOTE: This political satire by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All rights reserved.

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