Baby Food Attack on Florida Planned Parenthood Clinic – Obama, Hillary, Trump Respond

A statement from police early Monday afternoon said the substance was determined to be baby food, but police later tweeted a clarification at news organizations that the illnesses were caused by “unknown cleaning chemicals.”

During the evacuation, powdered baby food spilled in the stairwell, causing concern that it was the foreign substance causing symptoms before it was identified.

Seven people were taken to the hospital for evaluation, one declined medical assistance, and 34 others who were in the building were evacuated, Sarasota police said in a statement shortly after 12 p.m. local time.

Cecile Richards

Cecile Richards, Democrat activist and president of the Planned Parenthood Federation of America in a press release noted:

We are always vigilant and concerned about attacks by right-wing extremists against our efforts to save mothers from motherhood.

In our largest PPH facility located in Sarasota, Florida we found that right-wing extremists have new weapons of mass destruction – baby food and cleaning materials.

Our staff is not familiar with baby food, powders or otherwise. Babies are not our business, we take great care in not caring for them. The baby food powder was clearly placed there by someone who has a baby. Anyone with a baby is a bigoted, racist, right-wing zealot.

We have instructed our clinics nationwide to stop using Mr. Clean. We don’t need nor want to be associated with clean.

Our facilities will remain unclean until the culprit or culprits of this heinous attack are captured and properly aborted from society, no pun intended.

Hillary Clinton in a short statement warned:

I have long supported Planned Parenthood. We cannot tolerate those who use baby food. If elected president I will ban all baby food. Let them eat cake!

The Donald Trump campaign noted:

We will defund planned parenthood and use the money to do research on new and better cleaning materials. It’s time to clean up Washington, D.C.

Mr. Trump has added Mr. Clean to his  short list of potential Supreme Court Justices. Perhaps a Trump/Mr. Clean ticket?

Baby food and Mr. Clean are as American as apple pie. Make America Great Again by cleaning house, and the U.S. Senate too.

The Islamic State’s media arm noted:

We have partnered with Planned Parenthood to abort infidel babies. Planned Parenthood is doing the work of Allah. Our operatives in Sarasota, FL have joined with local law enforcement to find these pro-life Crusaders, who would stop the work of killing infidels before they are born.

Mohammed, may peace be upon him, would consider the work of Planned Parenthood as “nipping the infidel in the bud,” no pun intended.

Allah Akbar!

President Obama when asked about the attack on Planned Parenthood in Sarasota commented that he is “considering an Executive Order” sanctioning the manufacturers of cleaning materials and baby food products. The EO will list baby food and cleaning materials as “weapons of mass destruction.” The U.S. will put forth a resolution at the next meeting of the UN Security Council to make this ban global.

EDITORS NOTE: This political satire first appeared in WebM.D.C.