WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats in Washington are demanding reparations from the Republican Party for the massive financial losses of Democrats following the emancipation of the slaves. “It’s been many years, and still, this grave injustice has not been corrected,” said Chuck Schumer in a joint press conference with Nancy Pelosi. “Our Democrat ancestors faced decades of financial ruin after […]
U.S.—A shocking study has found an increasing number of Democratic state governors are fleeing to Florida, desperate to escape the ravages of their own COVID lockdown policies. The report found that Governors Whitmer, Newsom, and Cuomo have already secretly purchased homes in The Sunshine State. “Let me be clear. Florida is a deep dark pit […]
Trump is going to be reinstated as president this August, reliable sources have informed us — the best sources, everyone says so. When this happens, he has a lot of work to do returning America to its former greatness. Luckily, high-energy Trump is up to the task. He has already released a list of the […]
Well, it’s pride month, which is a time of celebration for all orientations, biological sexes, and genders. Thirty full days of celebrating all the letters in the LGBTQ+ alphabet — what fun! We at The Babylon Bee don’t want to get left behind, of course, so let’s kick off Pride Month with a list of […]
MESOPOTAMIA—It was going to be the first-ever Pride Month — a celebration of everyone doing everything they feel like doing in their hearts all the time — when it suddenly started raining and didn’t stop for forty days as God tried to wash all the wickedness off the earth. “Ugh. Well, this ruins everything,” said […]
Unlock a door to a dimension where riots are peaceful and silence is violence. This is The Woke Zone. In our latest video, enter into the Woke Zone as one man sees a riot on the side of the store — but everyone else just sees a peaceful protest. EDITORS NOTE: This political satire […]
U.S.—Well, it looks like the 2024 presidential race is kicking off, with former (and possibly future) President Donald Trump running his first set of ads on the television screens at gas pumps across the nation. The ads began running this week, and mostly feature the politician and real estate mogul asking people if they miss […]
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—As news organizations descended upon Minneapolis on the anniversary of George Floyd’s death, anchors and reporters solemnly reminded the country that racial division will likely always be an integral part of American society. “The racial division that has plagued our country for so long, and that has led to hours of sensational news stories […]
Biden, who is the most popular candidate to ever be elected president, will be a tough opponent to beat in 2024. To face Biden, the Republican Party will need to bring out their best and brightest to run for office! Here are 10 candidates we desperately hope will run. Barron Trump: We don’t know much about […]
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Congresswoman Ilhan Omar proposed a radical solution to the nation’s antisemitism problem: getting rid of all the Jews. The plan is already being embraced by leaders of Hamas, Al-Qaeda, Boko Haram, the government of Iran, and the Democrat party. “It recently struck me that the common thread among all of these heinous […]
Are voter ID laws racist? Of course. But, wait, how did this African American obtain one? Weird! WATCH: RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE: Lori Lightfoot Flees In Terror After Thomas Sowell Takes Her Up On Offer For Black People To Interview Her EDITORS NOTE: This political satire video by The Babylon Bee is republished with permission. ©All […]
BILLUND, DENMARK—As part of its new push toward inclusion and diversity, LEGO has unveiled a new set of genderless bricks without male or female connectors. The entirely smooth bricks have no suggestive male nubs or female receptors and instead have entirely smooth, androgynous sides all around. “This represents a new era in inclusive building bricks!” […]
GAZA—BLM has expressed solidarity with Hamas and Palestine by sending organizers to protest Israel by rampaging through Gaza and burning down Palestinian-owned businesses. “Everyone knows the best way to fight back against your oppressor is to burn down your own community,” said BLM leader Patrisse Cullors. “We here at BLM are experts at that, so […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Vice President Kamala Harris has expressed her concern that she will never get a chance to destroy America, as Biden has lived much longer than expected and will ruin the entire country before she gets a crack at it. “He’s lived through his first hundred days and already destroyed most of our institutions — […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A spokeswoman for President Biden said Wednesday that he remains committed to rolling back all of former President Donald Trump’s policies, including peace in the Middle East. Palestinians in the West Bank voiced their collective approval by launching celebratory rockets into Israel. “Everything President Trump did was completely wrong, so the opposite of what […]