Everyone knows the 2020 election was literally the most secure and fair presidential election—like, ever. But we know there are still a few skeptics out there. Here at the Bee, our number one mission is to prevent the spread of misinformation and make sure everyone still has faith in our democracy. To help convince you, […]
“We’re sick of it!” said one probably transphobic woman. “We women have to deal with this all the time at home with our husbands or boyfriends, and now this? What’s it gonna take for you men– er, women, to stop leaving the toilet seat up?” Some facilities had previously addressed this problem by gluing down the […]
We all know Biden is planning to become an oppressive dictator. He is a Democrat and Democrats are Marxists and Marxists killed one hundred million people last century, so Biden is probably planning to kill at least that many. Here are the signs to look for that Biden is about to go full dictator. 1) […]
U.S.—After a fun and exciting month of celebrating pride, the first of the seven deadly sins, Americans are gearing up to celebrate Greed Month—as well as Lust Month, Envy Month, Gluttony Month, Wrath Month, And Sloth Month. “Yeah- it’s been a great pride month. I feel so prideful!” said local man Sasparillo Gunderprit. “But what I’m […]
It’s every parent’s worst nightmare: your kid comes out as a libertarian. Don’t worry — we can help you nip it in the bud. You should be closely involved in your teen’s life to make sure he doesn’t suddenly start believing in freedom and personal responsibility. Make sure to constantly check for these 9 warning […]
RALEIGH, NC—It looks like President Joe Biden is not going to meet his goal of 70% of adults vaccinated by July 4th, and in a recent statement to the press during his “month of action” campaign, he explained why he believes there is some vaccination hesitancy, especially among minorities. “It’s just hard for many minorities […]
U.S.-MEXICO BORDER—At a migrant child facility near the U.S.-Mexico border in southern Arizona, children caught wind of Kamala Harris coming to visit them, hearing her cackle from thousands of miles away. “El diablo viene! El diablo viene! Dios mio!” cried hundreds of migrant children as they heard her approach. But quickly, a plan was hatched: the […]
Being a police officer in 2021 kiiiiiiinda sucks, since, you know, everyone will hate you and you’ll constantly be in fear of someone throwing a brick at your head or burning out your cop car just because. Well, we at The Babylon Bee have gathered up nine career choices that are MUCH more appealing than being […]
NEW YORK, NY—In honor of Father’s Day, Planned Parenthood put out a press release reminding the organization’s followers that they have been preventing people from becoming fathers for nearly 105 years. Planned Parenthood spokespersons say the organization is passionate about fatherhood and making sure that men who become fathers have the opportunity to pressure their baby […]
Newborns can be a lot of work. Diapers, lack of sleep, and the possibility that they are racist. These five tips could help! RELATED POLITICAL SATIRE: Congress Passes Law To Recognize Juneteenth, The Day Republicans Freed All The Democrats’ Slaves Biden Announces Putin Meeting Was A Success, Hunter Now Has A Job With Russian […]
NEW YORK, N.Y.—A federal appeals court judge has ruled that a Jewish bakeshop owner must comply with his Arab customer’s request to bake a “Death To Israel” cake. Jacob Greenstein, the owner of Jake Bakes Cakes in Brooklyn, said the controversy started after a customer ordered a special Hamas-themed “Death To Israel” cake for his […]
RIO GRANDE CITY, TX—Trump flew to America’s southern border this week to announce a brand-new Trump hotel unlike anything the world has ever seen. The planned hotel will be almost 2,000 miles long and will be situated right on the southern border. “Yes folks, I’m proud to announce we are building a big, beautiful, golden Trump […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a televised address this week, President Biden voiced support for the LGBTQ community and promised to honor them with a commitment to not only sniff women’s hair, but also men’s hair. “Look– I’ve been sniffing the hair of women and girls for many decades,” said Biden. “It’s time for me to recognize the […]
CORNWALL—A time of peace and prosperity has broken out across the earth after a sudden earthquake opened up a crack in the earth’s crust and swallowed up all G7 world leaders in mere seconds. Witnesses reported feeling a low rumble beneath their feet as Joe Biden, Justin Trudeau, Angela Merkel, and others gathered on the green […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.— An enraged Joe Biden attacked the media this morning for targeting his son over the use of N-word, stating that such language only confirmed that Hunter is, in fact, his son. “Why in tarnation are these bright, articulate, clean-looking black people all upset? You know how I talk about black people, heck you’ve heard me […]