The Babylon Bee’s crack team of very brilliant and handsome investigators has uncovered several more horrifying experiments funded by none other than notorious beagle butcher Anthony Fauci. As the old saying goes, where there’s smoke, there’s fire—and when there’s government-funded puppy torture, there’s probably some other bad stuff going on too. Here are the experiments we uncovered […]
Issues, Etc. is a podcast and syndicated radio talk show featuring solid, serious, substantive interviews with expert guests in theology, apologetics, ethics, philosophy, law and culture. Issues, Etc. has been educating, equipping and edifying thinking Christians for 25 years. Listen Now Todd Wilken – Host Todd Wilken has hosted the radio program Issues, Etc. since 1998. Wilken serves […]
So, you’ve been canceled. Sad! Seriously though—it serves you right for saying “Ew, that song is gay” on AOL Instant Messenger when you were in high school. Shame on you! Now, the mob is out to destroy your life with devastating amounts of accountability! Never fear—we at the Babylon Bee are experts in getting canceled […]
BETHESDA, MD—Concerned citizens are raising questions about some experiments conducted by Dr. Fauci’s NIH, including one where puppies were tortured to death, their vocal cords severed to mute their screams. In an interview, Fauci said that anyone who attacks puppy torture is attacking science itself. “Puppy torture is science,” said Fauci angrily. “So is grafting baby scalps […]
NEW YORK, NY—Experts are encouraging everyone to get their kids vaccinated, and are predicting dire consequences if this is not done. According to several top scientists, Pfizer executives won’t meet their sales goals if you don’t vaccinate your 5 to 11-year-old. “This would be absolutely catastrophic for struggling Pfizer execs,” said Dr. Wexner, an expert. […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Journalists love Jen Psaki’s laid-back, smiling, down-to-earth demeanor, as it keeps us all calm in a time with many tough challenges. So reporters were relieved when Psaki informed them that we do not need to worry about China’s space nukes during a press conference held in an irradiated wasteland crawling with super mutants, deathclaws, […]
As everyone knows, the news media knows what’s best for us and they always tell the truth. The only problem is that they use really big and complicated words that we simple folk just don’t understand. How will you ever keep up? Well, don’t worry! We prepared this special translation guide just for you, so the […]
U.S.—A new climate model shows that much of southern California will be underwater in the future as a result of uninhibited climate change. These stark images have had a profound effect on public opinion, causing a huge spike in support for climate change. “You mean, just by driving around in my gas guzzler, I could […]
BURBANK, CA—The brilliant and courageous writers at DC Comics have announced that Superman is now gay, and his pronouns are they/them as he is also non-binary. Now, instead of Kryptonite, he will be rendered completely powerless by anyone who addresses him using the wrong pronouns. “I’ll finally defeat Superman! He’s such a liberal snowflake!” says right-wing transphobe […]
U.S.—Remember super-Christian and football/baseball player Tim Tebow? The guy who took a knee before it was cool? Well, Tebow is now officially the only member of the NFL. The bold change for the league occurred after officials decided that everyone who had ever said a bad word would be removed from the league. The entire NFL will just […]
SACRAMENTO, CA—California has ordered the immediate arrest of any children who pick out toys traditionally associated with their gender. Local police have been ordered by Sacramento to patrol toy stores and big box stores in order to find kids violating the new law stating that children must play with toys they do not like. “Whether […]
Hey! Are you a kid? Are you being raised by normal middle-class parents who love you and care for you? Uh-Oh, watch out! They may be dangerous domestic terrorists! It’s important to keep a close eye on your parents for suspicious activity so you can report them to the FBI if necessary. Here are 10 troubling […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.—America collectively breathed a sigh of relief today as Dr. Fauci announced he was giving everyone permission to go trick or treating this year. “I must clarify one thing, though—and let me be perfectly clear while I clarify one small point in order to make it clear for everyone, as clearly as I possibly can,” said […]
File this one away in the “weird but true” folder: many Southwest Airlines pilots are flying banners behind their jets with a cryptic message: “Let’s go, Brandon!” Strange! Many are speculating about what this could mean. Some think it’s just an encouraging message for any Southwest passengers named Brandon, while others believe Southwest is just […]
WASHINGTON, D.C.—CNN has just released a bombshell interview with an anonymous White House whistleblower, who gave a harrowing account that could spell trouble for the Biden administration. Speaking with Jake Tapper, the whistleblower—who identifies as a “White House aide who is young, with no hair plugs or dentures and definitely not Joe Biden”—gave an account of brutal […]